Moving On From The Stories That Bind Us

Most of us have dealt with people and situations that sent our heads spinning with ideas of blame, judgment, and anger. In all these cases though, whether it’s a family issue or a conflict at the workplace, the story we write in our heads is always incomplete. This doesn’t mean that anybody should ignore or endure harassment or abuse. If you find yourself in a situation that is harmful then you should certainly make the necessary steps to either improve the situation or remove yourself from it if possible. What this does mean is that, aside from the external steps that you take to change things, that you also take steps internally to protect yourself against the toxic internal environment that such experiences can sometimes create.

Though we may have removed ourselves from a dysfunctional situation, the judgments we formed as a result can continue to breed negative thoughts that end up harming us long after the situation is over. We may begin to believe negative stories about ourselves that were formed during dysfunctional situations. We may think of ourselves as victims, or as unworthy and inferior people who do not deserve to be treated fairly and lovingly. We may linger in certain memories, going between judgments about ourselves and others, or we may simply come to take negative views about ourselves for granted. But these stories and judgments are not the truth. When we reduce our view of ourselves to these ideas, we do ourselves a great disservice and forget the fact that we are complicated beings who have needs and sensitivities that deserve to be acknowledged and met. If we aren’t aware of our own needs, how are we going to make intelligent personal decisions that lead to those needs being met? How can we help ourselves if we don’t know ourselves?

The thing is, all of our judgments and stories are based on incomplete truth, and they inevitably create or perpetuate misunderstandings about ourselves and others. Even if somebody has seriously hurt us, while the fact that they hurt us may be entirely true, our perception of that person and the situation is inherently narrow. To truly see the whole context of the situation is really beyond our capability, though if we begin by acknowledging this fact we might be more open to a greater understanding.

If we can see the incomplete nature of our judgments, stories and the thoughts that fuel them, hopefully we can begin to take them a little less seriously. Perhaps we can start to see that it isn’t always helpful to believe every thought that pops into our heads. The only thing that perpetuates negative stories and thoughts that arise out of negative situations is our belief in them. Once you come to understand this, there is the opportunity to truly move on, and to honour yourself with the love and compassion that you deserve, right here, right now.

Tags: empowerment, healing, inspiration, inspirational, personal evolution, personal growth, psychology, wellbeing, wellness, You Are Loved